Work stuff
Work is sometimes amusing. For instance, my special project (i.e. not my main job) is the employee database. (Some of my loved ones have heard me moan about the 45,000-line spreadsheet this project is based upon.) In the course of doing this project, I get to read every single employee’s name in our company. Thousands upon thousands of them. And all I have to say to the guy named Vanyel is: “FANBOY! And, I hasten to add, stupid fanboy!”
(I was enough of a fangirl to get a bondbird feather tattooed onto my arm, but I did not change my name to an angst-ridden character from a fantasy-adventure novel.) But I just feel sorry for the employees whose parents were obviously aging hippies…like the gal named Meadow.
Now let me bring you something I’ve been thinking about doing for some time…
Things I’ve Learned From Working As a Hospital Switchboard Operator
- Neurosurgeons really ARE as arrogant and god-complex-ridden as the guy on that TV show House. Most of them, at least.
- People are phenomenally stupid. Most of them, at least.
- There are no few people who do not understand the concept that “psych” and “psychic” are not the same term.
- Most parents often do not remember their child’s doctor’s name. (I ask you, if someone was cutting open your precious child with a scalpel, or giving them controlled substances, wouldn’t you remember their goddamned name?!!!)
- Many people are horrifyingly willing to tell a complete stranger their intimate medical & personal details at the drop of a hat. (And if you’re one of them, STOP THAT!)
- Way too many people are willing to give their Social Security number to someone over the phone. (This is one of the ways that, until quite recently, we could look up patient appointments.)
- In contrast, way too many people are unwilling to give their phone number to someone over the phone. (I mean, really — how the HELL am I going to misuse your phone number?!) Luckily, I have damned good Caller ID.
- People apparently feel that the correct response to being told (politely) that what they said was not understood is to say the exact same thing louder and/or faster. Neurosurgeons, especially.
- Enunciation is a lost skill. It’s appalling how many doctors can’t even speak their own name clearly.
- Stupid people are, indeed, breeding at an alarming rate. (And if you’re one of them, STOP THAT!)
- The entire health care system is horrifyingly inefficient. Try not to get sick or injured.
- Most doctors (especially the ones on-call after hours) are overworked and overtired. If you must get sick or injured, do it during regular business hours.
- Most non-doctors in the health care industry are woefully underpaid. Please give them the benefit of the doubt. A little niceness goes a long way.