Claire, the World’s Cutest Wife (of Robert, the World’s Greatest Ex), went into serious labor with her waters breaking at about 3:30 this afternoon. Four hours later, she’s at 8cm dilated — which means there will almost certainly be a baby by midnight!

I have to work tonight, but I’m headed to the hospital now, in the hopes of being able to be there for her & Robert when their son arrives (I was there for Robert’s daughter’s birth 7 years ago).

This is so cool. I love babies!!!

My friend Mari is working on posting more in her thingie (that’s what she calls it…get your mind out of the gutter!) by answering the Vox question of the day. Today’s question was:

What are three things you want to learn, and three things you can teach others to do?

This is one of the great things about America (she said, cleverly sneaking in a Patriot’s Journey post) — you can learn just about anything you want to. In many countries, your ability to learn any particular thing depends on your gender, your caste level, your geographic location, your financial status, your family connections, and many other limitations that can’t be easily overcome. However, most of an American’s success or failure depends on hard work, recognizing and availing themselves of opportunities (or creating their own opportunities, if necessary!), determination, and perseverance. Almost every practical thing I’ve ever learned how to do was a result of teaching myself from a book, or finding a person willing to teach it to me.

So here are my answers — I would like to learn how to:

1. Hang-glide
2. Refinish wood (specifically my 62-year-old heirloom Lane cedar chest)
3. De-clutter my house efficiently

I am able to teach:

1. Crocheting
2. Excellent cleaning of just about anything
3. Reading (I taught both my girls)

So what do you want to learn, and what do you have to teach?

I finally was handed my spawn’s final report card for 8th grade (which arrived and was promptly mislaid, only to be read when it finally resurfaced days later).

That’s right, it’s Parental Bragging Time again! *happy dance* Here are Anxiety’s final 8th-grade marks –

Math: C-
Spanish: C-
Reading: B
Writing: A
Social Studies: A-
Environmental/Core: B+

The teacher’s remarks included, “She did not always but [sic] into what were doing here” …which I managed to translate into, “She did not always get into what we’re doing here.” And it’s not the first time, I might point out…this is one of the reasons I can’t take the Happy Hippie School seriously — if the teacher can’t be bothered to use proper punctuation and proof-read what he writes, then I can’t be bothered to be overly impressed with his opinion!

Last Saturday, some dear friends got married! (And I was privileged to officiate for the ceremony, which Molly & Fred put together quite beautifully.) It got me thinking about marriage in America.

In the USA (unlike in many cultures/nations), marriage is not mandatory, or arranged with little regard to the feelings of the bride & groom. For the most part, Americans get married because they want to, and because they believe in the commitment they have with their spouse. While those who choose not to get married may occasionally be wondered about, there’s no real derogatory view taken of them.

Being able to be unmarried without ostracism or disapproval from society means, in my opinion, that marriage can be more valued and appreciated than in cultures where marriage is de rigeur. Not that it always is, but I do think it often is, when people stop to think about it. And isn’t that the way it should be?

Definitely worth celebrating (and something I’m pretty sure the rest of the Patriot Journey crew — JimK, Scott, Thebastidge, Doug, Moorewatch and our fearless leader Drumwaster — aren’t going to be featuring as a topic! *smirk*) is the general yumminess of American men.

I’m certainly not a seasoned world traveler (I’ve been to Canada, once), but from what I’ve heard of my friends who’ve seen more of the world, and from the gentlemen I’ve met who weren’t raised in the USA, it seems to me that American men are more respectful and egalitarian than men from most other cultures. While we’re past the pioneer days, I think that most American men understand that the West was not won by sheltered, mincing, delicate hothouse flowers of femininity, or the sort of menfolk who married such — and the strength and independence of American women is largely understood as a given, and much appreciated, by American men. There are exceptions, of course, but you’re less likely to find male oppression of women, or dismissal of female capability, in American men than in virtually any other culture.

I’ve dated my share of American men (okay, I’ve dated my share and probably a few other women’s share, too). Whether tall or short, rich or poor, gorgeous or plain, religious or agnostic, professional or working class, arrogant or humble, they all have something in common — American men are fun-loving. Even the most driven and ambitious of the lot seem to play just as hard as they work, even if it’s not necessarily the sort of play that women really appreciate.

And hell, they’re just plain tasty. Although not generally as fashion-conscious as many Western cultures, America does produce some damned fine-looking men — most of whom look terrific in a pair of jeans. And our boys are clean, too! They don’t usually overdo the cologne, either. Aside from a few metrosexuals, our guys know that the best smell a man can have is his own warm skin, freshly washed. (The most common complaint I’ve heard about international gents is a lack of bathing.)

While American women may complain about their men more than their men might like, I’m positive that very few of us would prefer the alternative, or are willing to give them up!

Why is it that only two days after an email is sent at work to my entire department about not wearing more than the lightest amount of cologne or other scent, some fuq’ing bint in my office took the opportunity to douse herself in a gallon of the nastiest concoction of hairspray and French-whore perfume, and then walk around the entire office leaving a vaporous miasma behind her?!!!

Yesterday was my only day off since the 13th, the goddamned oven and garbage disposal in my kitchen broke last weekend, I’ve been on the edge of run-down & wiped-out for days now, and today — to top it all off — I’ve had a migraine since 9 am, thanks to that fraking twat.

So no Patriot’s Journey today, because my entire skull hurts too much to think about anything cheerful or good.

Something to celebrate about America today is public transit. Sure, it’s a time-consuming and not especially comfortable way to commute, but it would suck a lot more not to have it at all. Trimet, the public transit system in the Portland metro area, has actually won many awards (did you know there’s an International Bus “Roadeo”? I can’t decide if I’m more amused or horrified).

It’s 5 miles from my home to my job; I’d hate to have to walk or bike that far to and from work every day! Driving isn’t especially practical, since there are too many days where my work schedule and Geoffrey’s conflict (although I’ve contemplated getting a Vespa). So I ride Trimet, and take a book along so I can ignore my fellow passengers (although I can’t always ignore their nasty colognes, raucous noise, and general stupidity).

But for all its disadvantages, American public transit is pretty impressive.

Still rambling along on the Patriot’s Journey…so here’s something I like about America today: that we have law enforcement officers like LawDog, who are witty and sensible and yet are still willing to post silly questionnaires on their blogs…which I now have to answer, too:

And now for something completely TMI…

I have my work schedule for the next few weeks, and it gets progressively crazier…but I do like my job for the most part. Today was my first full day off the tether of the splitter cord, without my mentor listening in, and I think it went well. I only had a couple of “oops” moments, and there was only one email sent to my trainer about a mistake on my part (and a very minor one, to boot). My mentor is so encouraging and positive, I can’t figure out if I’m really doing a terrific job or if I was assigned to her because they’re softening me up for the criticism. Then again, I tend to think that if I wasn’t progressing quickly, I’d hear about it pretty damned quickly.

This will also be the last Friday night I have off work for the foreseeable future…other than next Friday, which is the evening immediately before Molly and Fred’s wedding, so I’ll need to turn in early because it’s going to be a hellaciously early morning.

In other news, my youngest got to try out firearms for the first time this afternoon! Yup, Anxiety got to go to a shooting range and try out a CZ-85 Combat handgun, and apparently thought it was better than gummi bears. When the hammer dropped on her first live round, she waited until the shock had percolated, then squealed and hopped up & down in delight. Rumor has it that her first target grouping was moderately impressive. She wants an asp for her birthday, but apparently now her wishlist includes a Glock 29 or another model that fires 10mm. (Of course I’m not spending $500+ on a handgun for a teenager! She can save her blasted allowance. *grin*)

My “baby” (all 5′10″ of her) graduated from middle school today, with a sparkle in her eye and chopsticks in her hair. I don’t have any photos just yet, since she kept the camera for the graduation dance immediately following the ceremony, but hopefully we’ll have pics up tomorrow. And I managed not to actually cry, although it did take some furious blinking a few times to keep the tears (of joy and pride) from spilling out. I’m going to skip any further parental gushing, or I’ll start getting weepy again. (And I’ll avoid grousing about the serious lacks in the ceremony…I just don’t have enough PMS built up at the moment to do it justice.)

And now for the Patriot’s Journey portion of today’s post — a collection of answers (some of which are skippable, but more than a few which are heart-felt) to the question, “What is so great about America?” And definitely check out the blogs of my fellow journeyers: JimK, Scott, Thebastidge, Doug, Moorewatch and our fearless leader Drumwaster.