As of Jan 24th (next Tuesday), my phone number is going to change. As I’m no longer an employee of Splat Int’l, I have cancelled my employee phone plan. I’ve ordered a new cell plan, and will get the number to everyone who needs it as soon as I find out what the new number is!

That’s all, folks.

Many people on this day are writing a lot of solemn, meaningful things (quite frankly, I’m still trying to figure out why Dr. King deserves a federal holiday and Nikola Tesla does not). I’ve just finished re-reading The Crazy Years by Spider Robinson. Normally reading anything written by him leaves me feeling emotionally uplifted, spiritually joyous, intellectually entertained, and generally positive and optimistic. (Sometimes, it also leaves me feeling horny, as he – quite refreshingly! – epitomizes the philosophy that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.) However, this book (which I highly recommend, regardless of whether or not you enjoy his fiction) has left me feeling just a bit too overloaded on anything serious or meaningful. Thus, I present nothing more meaningful than my results on the following silly Internet quiz thingies:

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you’re not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

For anyone who’s ever wondered how bad a migraine can be (because it’s “just” a headache, right? *snort*), let me tell you something. This afternoon, my head was pounding at about an 8 on my migraine scale (below), so a dear friend gave me a Percoset. It only took the pain down to about a 6, so I had another Percoset a few hours later. Yet, even with enough heavy-duty medication in me to make a Lipizzan stallion trip over its own feet, I’m still hovering at about a 4 …and I seriously doubt it’s going to get any better.

So, “just” a headache? I think not.

Lil’s Migraine Scale

0—Absolutely painfree
1—Hovering pressure, niggling sensation that might approach pain
2—Scalp tightening like a too-tight hat, hurting enough to start looking for the Excedrin
3—Ow. Damnit. This is starting to really suck.
4—Who let that buffalo herd stampede through my skull, and why are there so many of them?
5—Frantically searching the house for Percoset, or a hammer to knock myself out with
6—Demon cloggers from Hell dancing in my head
7—The demon cloggers have been joined by drunken drummers
8—Banshee-wailing monster truck rally
9—Childbirth brings back fond memories as I whimper in agony
10—Curled up in fetal position in the dark, breathing shallowly in silence, desperately praying for oblivion

So I heard from some cool people that this is National De-Lurking Week. Hey, I’m part Irish, part Scot, and part Norse, so I have a genetic imperative that any excuse to celebrate something is a good enough excuse! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. (Of course, I’m also part Welsh, and I’m not sure that lends a genetic imperative for much past overuse of consonants, but never mind about that…)

I guess this de-lurking week started Monday, and this is Wednesday, but oh well. Better late than never, isn’t that what they say?

So please reassure me that my site stats aren’t all the result of some deranged stalker who reloads every few minutes, and leave a comment!

I was going to just jot a short comment in reply to a blog entry of Mari’s, but it turned into a bit more than a comment, so I’m putting it here instead.

As the mom of 2 planned babies (yes, I actually tried to get pregnant, for several months each time!), I can say my motives were different with each. The first was probably 50% hormones (not lust, unless you count “baby lust” – that heart-and-soul-deep yearning for a child that people who’ve never felt it simply can’t comprehend) and 50% a general desire I’d always had, since I spent the ages from 7-18 with babies & small children in my arms every chance I got. I still love holding babies & reading to small kids…I’m just not interested in having them around for extended periods. (I like having teenagers, a lot more than I liked most of their earlier stages! Although… every time I see pics of Angelina Jolie & her adopted kids, I think about how nice it would be to have another daughter, to be a more-experienced and presumably “better” mom if I was to parent another child. But with my luck, I’d just be more exhausted, and make all-new mistakes!)

I always said I wanted just one. So, my second was mostly because my first was 3 and no longer a baby, and I missed that fiercely. Of course there were other factors, and actually I spent most of my pregnancy with my youngest being desperately afraid I wouldn’t love her as much, because I literally couldn’t imagine loving anyone as much as Annie. Luckily, those fears were groundless!

Greyduck is right in what he said in his comment to Mari’s post: parenting is 95%+ (messy, expensive, tedious, exhausting) WORK. And it’s hugely thankless work, to boot, since it’s so extremely rare that anyone (other than – maybe, if you’re lucky! – one of your relatives, or the kid’s other parent) will EVER give you kudos for being a good mom or dad. Most of the time, not even them! And most of the time, you feel guilty that you didn’t do “good enough” as a parent, even if your intellect tells you otherwise.

Personally, my favorite parts of parenting have been watching these little lumps of gooey-ness turn into terribly interesting individuals (who are actually more unlike me than not), and getting to know them as people. I can’t imagine an adopted child being any different, since I have seen in every child that they’re born with their own individuality & personality, often quite different from their parents, and there’s only so much you can do to “mold” them.

And yes, it’s kick-ass when they develop a love for the same books, music, or whatnot! Sharing a joy of life with someone who’s previously unexposed to that particular joy is phenomenally fulfilling, whether it’s a child or a lover or a friend. If you’re lucky & attentive & open-minded, you’ll find new wonders to cherish, and rediscover joys you’d forgotten about, through the experiences you share with your child. There are plenty of things I never gave a second thought about before I had kids who were interested in them, that I deeply appreciate now because of my kids. There are many experiences I’ve had as a result of being a parent that help make me grateful for what I’ve had, and sometimes what I haven’t had, in life. Maybe it’s a cliche, but they’ve taught me as much as I’ve taught them, just by being who they are and being part of my life.

But I have very rarely been under the impression that my kids “liked me best” – most kids are well over that by the time they’re 4. People who yearn for that as a “goal” of parenthood, or to have something nobody else can claim as theirs (aside from the other parent, and maybe not even then), are sad…and quite possibly at higher risk for abusing / neglecting their child if they take out their disappointments on their kids. Anyone who has a kid and thinks it’ll be just like having a “mini-me”, or having something like a pet but smarter & more fun, is in for a huge disillusionment. People whose lives damned-near literally revolve around their kids, who can’t go an hour without mentioning them in conversation, or who plan every moment based on what the kids want (rather than need), are pretty pathetic, too. What the hell will they do when the kids grow up, (presumably) move out, and have their own lives that most certainly don’t revolve around Mom or Dad?! It’s pretty tough to be an interesting adult that anyone wants to be friends with, when the last 20 or 30 years of your life have revolved around your offspring to the exclusion of most everything else.

Of course, it’s a double-edged blade, since parents who are perceived by others as not focusing on their kids most of the time are condemned as “selfish” & “being bad parents”. I know, because I’ve seen it happen often, and I’ve been labelled as such myself. And that’s part of why parenthood requires you either have, or develop, a strong sense of who you are as an individual…unless you want to forever cater to others’ opinions, and constantly second-guess yourself. The best parents I’ve known – regardless of what I thought about their beliefs on child discipline, bottles vs breast, potty-training, afterschool sports, or anything else – are parents who joyfully encourage their kids to be themselves and take responsibility for themselves. Hopefully, as a parent I can pass on having a strong sense of self to my kids, so they’ll be secure in who they are and the choices they make, too.

I know that resolutions are popular for New Year’s, along with singing Auld Lang Syne and drinking champagne and kissing at the stroke of midnight. I hate making resolutions, because I’m more the sort of person who decides to do something and then just does it, rather than making plans to do something (which, quite honestly, I may or may not follow through with). Theoretically, if I were to make a New Year’s resolution, it would involve improving myself in some way – perhaps work on physical fitness, or go back to school, or stop using swear words (at least so plentifully *smirk*). But I already work on the general self-improvement as a matter of course, so it would be somewhat redundant to actually announce what specific improvements I was planning for this particular year. Plus, it’s more fun that way, because when you don’t announce a resolution, it’s that much sweeter when friends notice you’ve changed for the better!

My friends will not likely notice a reduction in my swearing this year. Just so they know.

I do have one little New Year’s thing. For the last 3 years at the end of each year, I’ve spent every Neopoint in my Neopets bank account filling up my purple gallery with more items! So far, I have 550 items in my gallery!!! If you have a Neopets account, you can see my gallery here. If you don’t have a Neopets account, you can read the list I keep of my items which is here. (That list is also good for people who want to check if I have an item, since I’ve alphabetized the list and updated it tonight. The date on that page will always be the last time I updated the list.)

Yes, this is a very silly pastime for a thirty-something gal…but it’s inexpensive and relaxing, and can be incredibly fun. Besides, it gives me something to talk about when I’m forced to make conversation with someone with whom I have nothing else in common, especially when they’re between the ages of 8-18. (I’d guess that, of all the people between those ages I’ve met in the last few years, perhaps 5% don’t have Neopets accounts. And I’ve met far more people over 18 with Neopets accounts than under 18!)

Luckily for me, I can spend my entire bank account and still have a couple hundred K a couple weeks later, now that I’m a veteran with a premium account who restocks my shop every day! *grin* And having an utterly fabulous Neopian faerie godmother doesn’t hurt, either!

As my Number One Internet Fanboy (aka “that other guy I love”) pointed out in his entry yesterday, we were at Best Buy for a bit, and I almost spent money on purple rhinestones to decorate my iPod mini. It’s probably for the best that I didn’t. Aren’t rhinestones kinda tacky?

However, Best Buy was the only retail establishment I entered yesterday where I didn’t spend money! My day started pretty calmly, waking up to my alarm (which is set everyday, even though I don’t have a job to be late for, because I’ve found that sleeping in quite often will trigger my migraines) and going next door to Jenn’s to curl up with a big mug o’ coffee for some chit-chat. While there, I looked up car dealerships in the yellow pages, because I’ve been wanting to talk to a Subaru dealership about getting new keys made for my car. The only key I was given when I bought it 10 months ago is a bad copy of a copy, and no longer opens the passenger door lock or the tailgate (which cannot be opened from the inside). The Subaru dealership informed me that my 15-year-old car is too old for them to have key specs in their system anymore.

Then I called a locksmith nearby and asked if they could make me keys to work in all the locks, and they said yes! So I got dressed, zipped down to the locksmith, and he tried making a key a couple times, but couldn’t quite get it. He recommended I return on a day it wasn’t raining, and the other guy in the shop would take the lock out of my car door and make a key from that – guaranteed! And it’ll only cost me $70, including the removal & replacement of the lock. Not too shabby.

But it was raining, so they wouldn’t pull my car door apart that day. Undeterred, I had them make a duplicate key for my garage, so that if I’m ever stupidabsent-minded enough to lock my keys in the garage and shut the door, I’ll have a key in the house to solve that little problem. Plus when Geoffrey is at work (and has the car keys), I’ll still be able to get into the garage. Nice!

Then I headed out toward Fabric Depot, intending to do some fabric shopping for curtains. On the way, I stopped at Target to get a curtain rod and some fireplace accessories, but when I saw how inexpensive some really nice curtain panels were, I decided it would actually be cheaper, as well as easier, to just buy curtains! Especially when I realized how many yards of 60” fabric I’d need for my huge front window! The ones I got are a very dark grey (that the label calls black but it really isn’t) which matches nicely my grey & black area rug in the front room, and the material is a faux suede that’s lightweight enough to look – and feel! – really nice, but heavy enough to actually keep the drafts out. Of course, I also got a drapery rod & pair of holdbacks.

And I got a really lovely fireplace screen & matching set of fireplace tools, as well! I’ll have to get the nifty matching log rack – and possibly the matching candle holders! – next time. *grin* (And if I can ever find my camera battery charger, I can take pics instead of just linking products. Grrr.)

After picking up Karel, and taking Geoffrey to work, there was dinner followed by more shopping. The afore-mentioned browse through Best Buy, a stop at Freddy’s for a few necessities, and then a wee splurge at Powell’s City of Books. Or maybe not exactly “wee”…but I spent only about 1/4 of what I’d spent the last time I was there! (If I ever win the lottery, Powell’s will just have to deliver my splurges in one of their trucks…) Anxiety was beside herself in teen-girl shrieking delight at the Inuyasha calendar that Karel picked out & I bought for her.

It was a busy day, and I felt quite run-down & overheated during most of it, possibly a bit of the suspected tummy virus that Lyse’d had a few days earlier. So I took Karel home directly from Powell’s, went home myself, and wound up on Jenn’s sofa again for a bit more chit-chat. Before long, it was time to pick up Geoffrey, and we crashed soon after getting home.

This afternoon, Geoffrey & I put up the new drapes. I took advantage of our having to move the sofa anyway (to put up the drapery rod) to sweep & mop the entire downstairs wood floor. Also, I moved a few things around to accomodate the new bookshelf Geoffrey’s parents gave us for Yule, and to get the DVD stand away from the fireplace so I could light a fire! Yup, all evening we’ve had a wonderful fire going in the fireplace, partly thanks to the Presto logs I bought yesterday, and partly thanks to the fact that the prior tenants of this townhouse left about a third of a cord of well-seasoned wood in our garage! (For those not raised where wood is routinely used as fuel, a cord is equal to a stack measuring 4 x 4 x 8 feet or 128 cubic feet.) Anxiety was incredibly helpful in bringing in several armloads of wood and has been delighted with the fire, while the cats are thoroughly perplexed at their humans for bringing tree branches inside and regularly poking at the odd new entity in their home which puts off quite a bit of heat & makes crackly noises & smells interesting. They are most emphatically not what you would consider rocket scientists of the feline species.

And how, might one wonder, am I affording this, being currently unemployed? Clever budgeting in recent months has gotten all my bills paid on time & the freezer full, I didn’t over-extend myself during Yule shopping like I have usually done in the past, and I was lucky enough to be given cash from relatives who clearly have excellent taste in Yule gifts. All that, and no longer spending an obscene amount at Seattle’s Best in an effort to get through my workday on not nearly enough sleep. Bless his heart, Geoffrey said he feels wonderfully spoiled being able to spend several hours a day with me every day since I’ve been out of work, and I’ve been enjoying that tremendously as well. It’s that whole “silver lining in the cloud” thing, and I’m doing my best to appreciate it properly. I even kinda miss being a housewife, as I’m one of those odd people who truly enjoys setting a house to rights & keeping the laundry all done & doing the decorating & all that stuff…but I’m no Martha Stewart, and sooner or later I go a bit stir-crazy. So in the very near future I’ll be working again, or going back to school, or perhaps both.

It reminds me of something I said about a decade ago (which, incidentally, showed me quite clearly that my relationship at the time was doomed, since his disparaging & practically condemning reply to what I said was, “You think weird things”), when – for no apparent reason, this thought just occurred to me – “I don’t know what the future holds, but it’s gonna be crazy and it’s gonna be good.” Yeah, life’s been very pleasant lately, but sort of quiet, too. I think I’m ready for a little bit of crazy-n-good.

It’s been quite the weekend, and I do mean that mostly in a good way. Lyse’s been over at my place for several days (she can’t walk very well, due to a severe sprain of her ankle & minor fracture of one of her foot bones, so the demonspawn can wait on her hand & foot), and last night we had my Number One Internet Fanboy and his lovely lady Kylanath over to join us for food & fun.

The food turned out pretty damned good, Shake-n-Bake BBQ chicken & pasta with a four-cheese sauce, and the fun was watching a variety of DVDs – everything from Monty Python to some Chinese wire-fu movie with subtitles. The World’s Best Ex and his girlfriend Clare came over to join us in watching movies (and escape from the sugar-hyped 5-year-old, my goddaughter). I’d planned to dash next door (where my youngest was babysitting the sugar-hyped 5-year-old) to watch the last few minutes of the Rockin’ Eve and see the ball drop on Times Square, but I forgot.

That’s 2 years in a row, and I really like watching the ball drop, damnit! I must have been distracted by all the great company and the witty (and occasionally snarky!) commentary. Some of the neighborhood shot off fireworks around the midnight hour, but my beloved Geoffrey & I waited until a bit later for our own fireworks (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). It was definitely one of the best New Year’s Eves I’ve ever had!