I like music, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

 We like turtles

They’re playing this commercial on local radio stations a lot these days. The first time I heard it, I figured some programming engineer was bucking to get fired by playing Internet silly songs on the air. Well, until the end of the song, when you find out it’s an ad.

For the Oregon Coast Aquarium, no less. Which, I might add, is a really neat place to visit!

I know one of the unofficial mottos of our state/region is “It’s different here,” but that’s pretty damned different. Uhm, yeah.


Monday, May 30, 2005

 Another list o’ fun

I like #4 so much, I think I’m going to make it part of my sexual repetoire from now on. Woof.

The Top 9 Meanest Sex Tricks to Play on Someone

9> Flip him off of you and yell, “Next!”

8> Marry someone, then divorce him less than a day later without consummating the marriage. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Ms. Spears.

7> After your first sexual encounter, sign the guy up for a year’s supply of penis enlargement pills.

6> Agree to a threesome, then bring home the skankiest chick in the bar.

5> “HURT ME! NOW!” “NO!”

4> When asked to do it doggy style, roll over on your back and wait for him to rub your tummy.

3> Handcuff him to the bedpost.
Put on a Yanni CD.
Leave.

2> Tell your wife you want to play that game where you go to the airport and pretend to be a lonely salesman and she pretends to be an airport hooker — then pick up a *different* airport hooker.

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Meanest Sex Trick to Play on Someone…

1> Start faking the orgasm before he gets his clothes off.

[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]


Sunday, May 29, 2005

 Random lyrics fun

Because my Number One Internet Fanboy did it, I must do it too.

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play.
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 20 songs that play.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from.
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly.

1. This world’s a tortured place to be / So many things to torment me / And as I stumble down this road it takes a toll
2. Breathing in lighting / Tonight’s for fighting / I feel the hurt so physical
3. Get out of my head / Get off of my bed / Yeah, that’s what I said
4. I remember the look in your eyes / When I told you that this was goodbye / You were begging me not tonight / Not here, not now (Jaz got this one: Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard)
5. Eagle flew out of the night / He was something to observe / Came in close, I heard a voice / Standing, stretching, every nerve / I had to listen, I had no choice (Laura got this - one of my very favorite songs: Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel)
6. What I wouldn’t give to find a soulmate / Someone else to catch this drift / And what I wouldn’t give to meet a kindred
7. Why do you hurt me so bad? / It would help me to know / Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing you’ve had? (Jaz again: Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benetar)
8. Even though I know / I don’t want to know / Yeah I guess I know / I just hate how it sounds (Jaz yet again: One Thing by Finger Eleven)
9. I’m burnin’, burnin’, I got the fever / I know for sure, there ain’t no cure / So feel it, don’t fight it, go with the flow / Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme one more for the road (And still another from Jaz: Pyromania by Def Leppard)
10. Get the kids and bring a sweater / Dry is good and wind is better / Count the years, you always knew it / Strike a match, go on and do it (Jade nailed this one: Sunny Came Home by Shawn Colvin)
11. And no matter how hard I try / I can’t escape these things inside I know / When all the pieces fall apart / You will be the only one who knows (Oh look, Jaz got this one too: Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down)
12. I wonder if you care / I wonder if you still remember / Once upon a time (Guess who: Your Wildest Dreams by The Moody Blues)
13. I know that I must do what’s right / Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti / I seek to cure what’s deep inside / Frightened of this thing that I’ve become (Laura again: Africa by Toto)
14. How could I be so blind to this addiction / If I don’t stop the next one’s gonna be me / Only emptiness remains / It replaces all, all the pain
15. The turn I have just taken / The turn that I was making / I might be just beginning / I might be near the end (Another for Jade: Anywhere Is by Enya)
16. That’s why it hurts so bad to hear the words / That keep on falling from your mouth (Another from Laura: Why by Annie Lennox)
17. Ooh she’s such a good find / Have you gone and lost your mind / You should know she’s one of a kind
18. Come stand a little bit closer / Breathe in and get a bit higher / You’ll never know what hit you when / I get to you (Molly got this one: I Want You by Savage Garden)
19. What have I become / My sweetest friend / Everyone I know / Goes away in the end (And Molly got this one: Hurt by NIN or Johnny Cash - I have both versions)
20. Nothing’s gonna change the things that you said / Nothing’s gonna make this right again / Please don’t turn your back / I can’t believe it’s hard / Just to talk to you / But you don’t understand


Saturday, May 28, 2005

 New toy!

I did a bit of retail therapy today, aided by the Geek-Fu Master Karel (and accompanied by the Princess of Snark, Lyse). My new toy is the Olympus Camedia C-60 digital camera (which I got at $20 less than Amazon’s price)! It can do about a hundred things I’m sure I’ll never use, it’s about the same dimensions as 2 stacked packs of playing cards, and it only weighs 7 ounces (198g).

It’s damned nifty!

I got a few shots today, annoying the cats and the kidlets and the houseguests. Bwa ha ha. (I learned that Lyse is the only person I can photograph without getting the redeye effect, that Zadya is very photogenic, and that Hasani isn’t - he just wants pettins, not pictures!)

Anxiety & Hasani
The Lyse-Beast with her alien green eyes
Molly
Lyse in my front room (with only a few of my bookshelves showing)
Angst & Beanpole being all twitter-pated
Zadya looking like an adorable lazy cat on the back of my purple sofa
Zadya in a gorgeous close-up
Zadya in the window with Molly’s new pet, a carnivorous plant named Olly
Zadya showing off her beautiful markings (not like I’m nuts about this cat)

I have to figure out how to reset the camera to take smaller pictures, though. It gets boring resizing every single picture down from 8 gazillion MB to a reasonable size. Guess it’s time for me to RTFM!


Friday, May 27, 2005

 Who ordered the blasted heat?!

It was 92 degrees today in Portland, at least at my house. And of course, it was hotter inside the house, until a couple hours after the sun set. Sheesh, it was 80 degrees inside when I woke up at 11 am. (Gotta love those vacation days…I love the fact that I got paid to sleep this morning. Now I just have to find a job where they’ll pay me to sleep every day.) I don’t mind the heat so much, exactly…it’s the ridiculous amount of sweating that goes with it that I hate! It’s just not okay. Grrrr.

Geoffrey called me from Australia today, yay! Apparently he’s having outrageous amounts of fun and enjoyment in the land down under. Oh, and in Sydney, too. *smirk*

Somebody must have organized a “distract Lil from missing Geoffrey” drive, because there’s a few extra people in my house tonight. The Lyse-beast is over to keep us all amused, Beanpole is visiting to keep Angst from overdoing the teenage whining bit, and Karel has spent the evening keeping me smiling.

And I don’t have to go back to work until June. Yay, and stuff.


Thursday, May 26, 2005

 I miss him already

The house feels emptier than it did yesterday. Damnit. As I write this (a smidgen after 11 pm), my beloved Geoffrey is about 7.5 hours into his 10.5-hour flight from Honolulu to Sydney. I sure hope he’s not trapped near any squalling babies or poorly-parented preschoolers. But this will be the first time since Yule 1999 that Geoffrey & I have spent more than 3 consecutive nights apart…

Last night after I got home from work, we went to Powell’s so he could pick up a few books to occupy him for the journey. He also wanted one of the neon-colored luggage tags with pithy sayings on them that we spotted the last time we were there. He ended up getting a lime green one that says “don’t make me chase you.” And he got one of those traveler’s security wallets. I now direct you to the following quote from the movie Eurotrip:

Cooper: “What the hell is that?”
Jamie: “It’s a traveler’s money belt. Frommer’s says if you have one of these, no one can rob you of anything.”
Scotty: “Except your dignity.”
Jamie: “No, you just put that in your… wait, what?”

Tee hee.


Wednesday, May 25, 2005

 Road trip!

My sweetie is leaving on a jet plane (are you old enough to remember that song?) tomorrow for a week in Australia. My eldest demonspawn Angst is going with her boyfriend Beanpole on a day-trip to Seattle on Saturday. My younger demonspawn Anxiety is getting home tomorrow from a 2-day field trip to the Oregon coast. Looks like I’m the only one without travel plans!

What music do you like best for a roadtrip? Do you like relaxing music to get you into that kicked-back vacation mode, or songs that really get you revved up & excited?

I’m most fond of high-energy music when I drive (the soundtracks to Top Gun & Hackers are good, and also the fast tunes by Pat Benatar, Avril Lavigne, & Godsmack), and more mellow music when I fly (Trans-Siberian Orchestra is great!).


Monday, May 23, 2005

 DVD Party!

When: Sunday June 5th, 2pm (ish) onward
Where: My house
What: The 4400
Why: Second season premieres at 9pm, so come watch the first season (6 episodes/4.5 hours) on DVD!
Misc: Pizza for dinner, popcorn & candy during the show, and root beer floats for dessert!

Trust me - if you have a brain, a sense of adventure, and an appreciation for a great story, you’ll love it. And besides, it’s a chance to hang out with friends and eat yourself silly while enjoying entertainment that actually engages your mind!

(RSVP via my cell phone or home email to let me know how many to plan for!)


Sunday, May 22, 2005

 What does it say about me that I love these people?

I made the egregious error of showing Lyse the ThinkGeek website, and so she took over my keyboard and spent the next little while making excited happy noises. She says she wants this for her birthday. She then informed me that she wants her birthday present next week, because she’s not into delayed gratification (her birthday is in early October). Then she announced that it would be the ultimate gesture of loving generous selflessness if I got her that pressie for my birthday (which is in 3 weeks). I made some sort of noise that she (correctly) translated as, “You want HOW many Scooby Snacks?! Ha ha ha!” Then I went to change over the laundry.

After dumping a load of hot towels on the sofa next to the younger demonspawn (who, having gone to Rocky Horror Picture Show last night but not washing her face when she got home, looks somewhat like Paris Hilton after a bender), I went to transfer the freshly-washed clothes into the dryer. When I returned to the sofa, Anxiety was neatly (she IS a Virgo) spreading warm towels across her lap in layers. I took them away to fold them and the resultant conversation went like this:

Anxiety: “But those are warm!”
Apparently Evil Mom: “You’d be warm, too, if you’d just been in the dryer!”
Anxiety: “Ooh, can I get into the dryer?”
Apparently Evil Mom: “You can’t fit inside the dryer anymore.” (Don’t ask about the implied subtext that I’ve previously given her permission to get inside the dryer. Just don’t, or I’ll never get that Mother of the Year Award.)
Anxiety: “Yes I can! I got into it last Tuesday!”
Apparently Evil Mom (walking away, shaking my head): “Just fold the towels.”

This is the sort of day I suppose I should expect, after the wackiness of yesterday. First, a trek out to visit Geoffrey’s parents undertaken by the whole famn damily - me & Geoffrey, Lyse, both demonspawn, and Beanpole, the elder demonspawn’s boyfriend du mois. Geoffrey borrowed his parents’ 35mm camera and a chunk o’ luggage, for his upcoming trek to Australia (he’s leaving Thursday morning). I spent most of the visit being entertained by the cat, Mystery (Geoffrey’s 21st birthday present), making love to my leather purse because she could smell the cigarettes inside. Some kitties absolutely adore the stuff - as much as catnip, even.

Then the whole famn damily, plus Karel, went to Larry’s housewarming party/BBQ. I got to see Bill, the very sweet & engaging man who took me on a whirlwind weekend in Vegas last year, and went bunjee-jumping with me! It was a blast, although we had to leave after a couple hours because Karel’s allergies were aggressively assaulting him, the migraine I’d awakened with had barely been dented by an Imitrex shot, and my demonspawn (and even the one who isn’t mine) needed errands run and sundry other chauffeuring. We stopped at a Freddy’s other than our usual one, and bumped into Vlad (for whom I invented the game “guess what color my panties are”), who works there. (Coincidentally we found a kick-ass pressie for Molly, which I will have to remember to take to work with me tomorrow so she can have it!)

Moderately late in the evening, the kidlets were gone and the rest of us (theoretically the grownups) collapsed in front of a TV screen to watch a few episodes of CSI on DVD. Lyse had wiggled into the purple beanbag chair on the floor, and I very happily got to snuggle between my two boyfriends on the sofa. The migraine required a second Imitrex shot, and so between that & the rather long day, I barely managed to finish one row of crocheting in 2 hours (and a rather brief footrub for each of the guys).

Thank heavens I only have to go to work 7 days over the next 2 weeks. (I’m taking a 5-day weekend over the Memorial Day weekend.) But I still have to leave the house today…Anxiety has a 2-night/3-day field trip to the Oregon coast starting Tuesday, and she needs an assortment of things (like both watersocks and sturdy shoes, since she - rather annoyingly - keeps growing!). Damn, I need a weekend to recover from my weekend. Again.


Wednesday, May 18, 2005

 You got peanut butter in my chocolate!

If you’re old enough to remember the commercial the entry title comes from: congratulations, you’re old. Anyway, as we wind down to the last Midweek Music Meme question, I’m quickly running out of ideas and hounding my friends & loved ones for questions. This one came from that guy I live with who idolizes Alice Cooper (frightening, isn’t it?):

What two musical genres would you like to see blended?

I personally can’t stand most music genre blend-type-things. I mean, Christian rock? Sucks. Country rock? Usually sucks. Country rap? I tremble in horror at the thought.

Still, I think it would be amusing to listen to some heavy-metal classical. I want to hear some Metallica done by a big-city Symphony Orchestra. *giggle*


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