I like music, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.

Friday, October 29, 2004

 Survey sez!

Normally I try to avoid much in the way of political-type things in my blog. But for this, I’ll make an exception.

Here is an interesting look at who has served our country, and who hasn’t.

Very, very interesting.


Thursday, October 28, 2004

 Just in time for the Halloween parties!

The Top 10 Sex-Related Things Overheard at Halloween Parties

10> “Is that Godzilla in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

9> “Witch, if you’re truly wicked you’ll ride my broomstick.”

8> “No, I’ve never heard of a ‘Jack-Off-Lantern.’”

7> “I’m sorry, Count — you want to suck my WHAT?!?”

6> “Yeah, Casper, I know you’re the friendliest ghost - but pinch my ass one more time, and you really will be dead.”

5> “Frank, please tell me those boobs aren’t real.”

4> “I’m dressed as a man with a really large penis. Then again, I dress like this every day.”

3> “Okay, I followed you out to your car, but I still don’t understand how I can magically transform you into the No-Longer-Headless Horseman.”

2> “Excuse me, miss — would you be willing to share your bite-sized Mounds?”

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Sex-Related
Thing Overheard at Halloween Parties…

1> “Hey, if you want to keep your beer cold, stick it in the witch’s blouse.”

[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
[ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ]
[ in any manner without crediting “TopFive.com” ]


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

 Spook-tastic

It’s that time of year again, with goblins & ghosts & ghoulies popping out of the woodwork. Last year, Geoffrey picked up this obnoxious toy - a skull covered in ivy with dying leaves, peat moss, and four creepy-looking black silk flowers sticking out of the top. When you push the button (or set it to motion-detection, and then wave anything in front of it), red lights appear in the skull’s eye sockets, and it starts playing the somber tones of “Chopin’s Funeral March.” For a few moments, anyway - then a hip-hop version of that tune starts up, and the freaking flowers on the top of the skull spin & bounce, as if they’re dancing. It scares the hell out of the cats.

What is your favorite spooky music, whether Halloween-related or not?

It may not be precisely spooky, but I rather like Beethoven’s Fifth. It evokes a mood of trying to escape from something, and that’s kinda spooky.


Tuesday, October 26, 2004

 Snarky work & home stuff

I’m really liking my job lots - after listening to the interplay between team members in my new department, I asked, “Is it a requirement to be sarcastic to work on this team?” One gal replied, “Absolutely,” and I saw a couple of people nodding in agreement.

Excellent. (This should be phenomenally entertaining.)

Today was the official Orange Splat takeover day. (Everybody who was betting on it lost, since nobody foresaw it happening on a Tuesday which wasn’t even the first, fifteenth, or last day of a month.) Oh woo and hoo, can’t you sense the excitement? They had cake with orange frosting and orange soda in the lunchroom for all the employees today. Cash would have been far more appreciated - or even new mousepads or calendars or something otherwise useful (although I’ve heard rumors that our third quarter bonus checks are coming on Friday, and that would be nice!).

The major drawback to working day shift is not seeing my beloved more than one waking hour a day. It was hellaciously difficult to climb out of bed this morning, when all I wanted to do was roll myself onto him and enjoy feeling his skin and smelling him and cuddling him in his sleep. But it means that the demonspawn & I do spend more time together, and many good things come of that. Angst snuggled with me on the sofa while we watched “Judging Amy” (our prerequisite chick show) tonight, and there was much laughter with both girls.

Angst was feeding Zadya a tiny piece of cheese from her sandwich, and Zadya just kept sniffing it interestedly, but wouldn’t lick it off her fingers. After a few moments, I lost patience with the stupid cat and took the cheese from Angst, and put it on the floor so the spoiled cat would eat it (which she did). Anxiety scolded, “Hey, you aren’t supposed to feed the cat people food!” I instantly pointed to Angst and protested, “She started it!” Angst was caught between being appalled and laughing her ass off, and Anxiety started in on a total motherly lecture, which I had trouble not laughing at a lot (because it sounded just like me) before I queried, “So how do you like being the mother, hmm?” She didn’t find that so amusing. Sheesh, 12-year-olds.

And when Angst got her second or third snack after dinner, I accused her of becoming a fat little piglet. (My daughters don’t have any issues about their size or shapes, so I’m not the least bit worried about damaging their self-esteem or triggering any eating disorders. Besides, our family isn’t status-conscious enough to spawn eating disorders.) In a tone of voice which made it clear that it should be obvious how sensible she’s being, Angst replied, “I’m not a little piglet; I’m building up my fat layer to keep me warm during the nasty cold winter!” Damn, it’s not like we live in the Yukon! But I love my sassy girls.


Monday, October 25, 2004

 Memory lane

This was me as a child.

And this was me when I was pregnant with the youngest spawn (except I didn’t have video games).

No wonder I like Queen of Wands. But Lyse says she gets to be Kestrel in the movie version.


Saturday, October 23, 2004

 I Bet You Don’t…

Mari started it (amongst my circle of friends), Karel did it too, and then Dawn did it. My turn!

Name a CD you own that none of your friends own:

The Best of Altan by Altan
Chant III by the Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo de Silos

Name a book you own that none of your friends own:

Ariel by Steven R. Boyett
Aradia: Gospel of the Witches by Charles G. Leland (a reprint of the 1899 original)
The New Ley Hunter’s Guide by Paul Devereaux
The Fuzzy Papers by H. Beam Piper
The first 7 books of the Savage Empire series by Jean Lorrah

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that none of your friends own:

Stir of Echoes
Pushing Tin
Diana, A Celebration, the Official BBC Commemorative Video
The Art of Poi

Name a place that you have visited that none of your friends has:

Adak Island, Alaska
USS Arizona Memorial, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Maryland
Smithsonian National Air & Space Museum

Name something you’ve eaten that none of your friends has:

I can’t think of anything. Hell, I can’t even jokingly say “Geoffrey.” *smirk*

Name something you’ve done that none of your friends has:

Surfed the North Shore of Oahu
Competed in a gymnastics meet
Been a widow
Done natural childbirth twice
Embroidered “Scream all you want; no one can hear” in needlepoint


Friday, October 22, 2004

 Top Pickup Lines Used by Chefs

Of course, I saw this and thought of Molly, who is - the lucky bitch - currently in Europe with her Western Culinary Institute class, doing chef-ly things in France and Germany. *sigh* At least she promised to bring me back a coffee mug or a bumper-sticker with a snarky and/or obscene saying on it in French or German (my second choice, since an Italian hunk wouldn’t fit in her luggage). *grin*

The Top 14 Pickup Lines Used by Chefs

14> “Uh, yeah… I invented Spaghetti-O’s.”

13> “You’re twice as sweet as a creme brulee — and less drippy.”

12> “Y’know, this hat and apron would look a lot less silly at the foot of your bed.”

11> “Hey good lookin’, whatcha got reducing over a low flame until the sauce is creamy, then pouring the reduction over the already sauteed veal, adding in a dash of kirsch and flambeing just before presentation?”

10> “Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock.”

9> “Whisk, schmisk. I’ll show you how a real man fluffs butter.”

8> “I know we’ve just met, but will you marinade me?”

7> “Wanna lick my beater?”

6> “How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?”

5> “Hey, weren’t you in my ‘Introduction to Melons’ class?”

4> “I’ve made thousands of women cream… of tarragon soup!”

3> “Get the buttah.”

2> “One cheeseburger coming up. Would you like a little paradise with that?

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Pickup Line Used by Chefs…

1> “Mmmm, you look good enough to filet — but I think I’d rather bone you.”

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000, 2004 by Chris White ]


 I see

I’m not sure I like this answer. I haven’t figured out whether or not I should be insulted. (Oh, and this is all Karel’s fault. Go congratulate him on his enormous blogging talent, btw.)

You are .exe When given proper orders, you execute them flawlessly. You're familiar to most, and useful to all.
Which File Extension are You?


Thursday, October 21, 2004

 (Insert Lyse’s favorite saying here)

This is probably about as offensive at it gets. Of course I thought it was hilarious! (And no, the February has nothing to do with me, but it was the only purple one they had. *smirk*)


I adopted a cute lil’ February birthstone fetus
from FetusMart! Hooray fetus!

I found the link over at Streetfighter


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

 I’ll Be There For You

Yeah, it’s been a while since the furor died down over it, but I really liked the Enterprise original theme song, Faith of The Heart. Apparently I was one of about 4 people who did. But I could never take Scott Bakula seriously as a Starfleet captain, not after all that goofy shit on Quantum Leap.

What TV show theme song did you like best, even if you didn’t care for the show itself?

And I can’t help but like the Friends theme song. *sigh*


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