It’s been a month since I’ve blogged?! Oh crap. Hey, I’ve been busy.

For about 3 months prior to my grandmother’s 80th birthday (the first weekend of May), I’ve been cross-stitching a gift for her. And not cross-stitching from a pattern, mind you, but an original design I put together myself. (NEVER do that! The math alone — and I say this as a person who likes math — was aggravating to the nth degree. Ohmigawd, what a huge pain.) I finished it a whopping 15 hours before the start of her birthday party, only to discover that the frame I’d purchased for it was broken upon removing it from the packaging. Since it was 11-freaking-pm, I had no choice but to dash back to the store as soon as it opened the morning of the party and exchange the frame. Then I remembered why I hadn’t done cross-stitch in years (about 10 years, actually…) — framing that stuff is a stone bitch. (This was, most unfortunately, before I discovered a nifty product called “peel & stick mounting board,” which I will use for my next needlepoint project.)

Anyway, here’s the finished product, which is approximately 11″x13″ (forgive the lousy pic, it was taken in a hurry under less-than-ideal conditions):

All I can say is 18-count Aida fabric can BITE ME. That’s 18 itty-bitty cross-stitches per inch of fabric! Only certifiably crazy people use anything smaller than 14-count. (Thank the gods I didn’t try 22-count. I tremble in fear just thinking about it.)

In other craft-related news, there are 6 (SIX, gah!) projects that I have partly finished, and 2 more in the works that I really need to get started on as soon as possible (which means “after the wedding”). The partly-finished include an afghan for Anxiety, an open-work tunic-style sweater for Angst, a cap-sleeved summer pullover for myself, an artsy wall decoration that I keep forgetting to finish up, and some other stuff I’m keeping under wraps for the time being.

And now for something completely TMI…

We are completely and officially snowed in. Lyse hasn’t seen this much snow since she lived in Pennsylvania. In 30 years of living in Oregon, I’ve never seen this much snow in the Portland metro area. Our driveway has over a foot of snow and ice crusts at various levels when it stopped snowing and froze over the top, then snowed some more.

Our neighbor Drew, who has 4WD, headed out to work this morning and got stuck at the nearest major intersection north of us, only 2 blocks away. It took him half an hour to dig his car out of the snow to head back home. When he got to our driveway, it took an hour of shoveling enough snow to get up the driveway and get his car back into the garage. Claire’s car has over 12 inches of snow on the roof, possibly up to 16 inches. The snow drifts within sight distance of our place are easily 3+ feet in places.

Work hasn’t called me today (although they called 3 times Saturday and once yesterday, offering overtime because people called out), but I wouldn’t answer if they did. It is technically possible for me to get into work because Trimet is running (albeit on snow routes and extremely delayed) and I’m less than 3 blocks from the nearest bus stop. So if this crap continues, I still have to be at work Wednesday morning. Thank heavens I’m only scheduled to work 2 days this week — but I have a horrible sinking feeling that once I show up for work, they may declare emergency procedures and keep me there a lot longer than scheduled.

Unless we get warmer temperatures and a whole lot of snow melted, we’re sure as hell not going to Geoffrey’s parents’ house for Christmas Eve dinner.

I’m not dreaming of a white Solstice, but that’s what I’m getting. Le sigh. Again, I must reiterate: wind chill = EVIL.

Today’s adventure: drove to Beaverton! In the snow! Without chains or snow tires!

And now for something completely TMI…

Oh yeah, it’s snowing today. And with the wind, it’s snowing sideways. GRRR.

Yesterday Anxiety and I helped Dustin & Angst move. From the time we got the U-Haul to the time I dropped Dustin off at his new place was 10 hours. *dies a little* You wouldn’t think it would take that long to load and haul what is essentially a cargo van’s worth of belongings a whopping 23 miles. But there were a couple of side trips: one to my place, so Angst’s stuff would be out of it, and one to a downtown apartment where a cute & very young Asian chick was moving out and wanted someone to just take away the belongings she didn’t have room for in her new place. So Dustin & Angst got a computer desk & chair, entertainment stand, TV, and VCR for free.

So Anxiety and I didn’t get home until well past the dinner hour, since we had to make a grocery store run after finishing the moving chores. My feet hurt so bad that sitting down actually made them hurt worse. Bless Geoffrey for the lengthy foot rub he gave me!

We were planning on getting Geoffrey his baby ball python today. Don’t know if that’s gonna happen, but kinda doubt it…there isn’t much snow (an inch or two, ish) but people are notoriously stupid in Portland when the pavement isn’t completely clear and dry. And since the Tropical Hut is a small, owner-operated business, they might not even open today…we’ll have to call to check, if Geoffrey still wants to go snake-shopping.

Speaking of snakes, mine finally has a name!!! The lovely and brilliant Tamara suggested “Tyrian” for the location where purple dye first came from. When I checked out the word on Wikipedia.org, I found that it’s also a label for worshipers of the god Tyr — and therefore, utterly perfect! So my little lavender corn snake (who has spent the last 2 days straight hiding under his cage substrate of aspen shavings) is named Tyrian. Yay!

Not looking forward to riding the bus to and from work for the next few days. This snow crap could stop anytime. Really.

Hey, I thought conservatives were supposed to be the dangerous ones. You know, people who support being able to own as many guns as you like, or people who aggressively proselytize for Jesus, or people who will tell you you’re gonna burn in hell just for walking into a Planned Parenthood. Not liberals. Noooo, liberals just want you to talk your problems out and come to a responsible, eco-friendly, wholly secular, vegetarian, womyn-supporting, more-evolved understanding that their way is the right way. (For the not-so-quick, that last sentence was generalizing liberals in a smart-ass kind of way, and does not represent my view of all liberals. Just a few I’ve met in person who ARE like that.)

Liberals aren’t supposed to FIREBOMB PEOPLE’S YARDS!!!!

And now for something completely TMI…

All about my vacation road trip…

And now for something completely TMI…

Geoffrey — got a Utilikilt (in black, of course) and has been wearing it non-stop. He looks quite good in it, and doesn’t even mind when I make jokes about my boyfriend wearing a skirt. Of course the first thing I did when I saw him in it was perform a kilt-check. *saucy grin*

Claire — The other day, I gave her a mini mug from Starbucks, because Jonathan (the World’s Cutest Toddler) likes to drink out of it. It’s about a 3-ounce mug, with an exterior graphic of coffee beans. She laughed and said she’d have to take it when they visit her mother, because her mother hates that she & Robert drink coffee. I asked, “Why? Is she Mormon, or Jehovah’s Witness, or Seventh Day Adventist?” Claire said, “No, she’s just a cunt who likes trying to control us.” *dies laughing*

Angst — got a new jarb, and is clearly having lots of fun with it. (BTW, watch out for the not-work-safe, as she is a shameless exhibitionist with nakie modeling pics on her LJ. Her father — the latent JW — would be so proud. *snicker*)

Christopher Moore — I just finished reading Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. Whether or not you are (or ever were) Christian, if you have a sense of humor, you should read it. Seriously. (And I say that ironically, because the book is hilarious. But wonderful, and at points, even quite touching. The Powell’s review calls it “irreverent without being disrespectful,” and they’re right.) “Oh, look — a seagull!” *dies laughing some more*

Anxiety — My darling daughter did not want to go to the mall for back-to-school clothes shopping. Neither did she want to go to the Gap, or Target, or anything so pedestrian. She wanted to go to The Bins (or, as the sign on the front of the warehouse says, the “Goodwill Retail Outlet.” Yeah, okay. The Bins.) We got 52 pounds of clothes for $37. My kid rocks. (She just got back from 3 days at the Shakespeare Festival. I have no clue where she got that particular inclination, because it wasn’t from me.)

Rissa — My goddaughter, who is 8, clearly has her priorities in order. When Anxiety pointed out to her that there was a dead goldfish in their aquarium, what did the little darling immediately say? With glee in her voice? “I want to poke it!” What a great kid. Totally awesome.

My new toy — The non-tobacco Njoy is pretty nifty; you get nicotine and the physical “handling” aspects of smoking, without the health dangers. I got my starter pack last week, and I think it’s really going to help me cut down on smoking. (Maybe even someday quit entirely…but don’t hold your breath just yet.) Yesterday, for the first time since probably 1992 (when I was in labor with the youngest), I went 5 conscious hours without a cigarette. For those of you who have no addictions, trust me, this was a MAJOR big deal.

Lyse — Next Monday (on my vacation!), we’re going to the Oregon Vortex! Then we’ll hop back on I-5, head across Highway 42 to the coast, and take Highway 101 back up. The itinerary (aside from the Vortex) is a surprise, but I’m certain Lyse will love it and have tons of fun!!!

I’m so worked up about the road trip…you know, I spent hours — HOURS, I say! — researching the southern Oregon area on the Internet, trying to find fun stuff to do. (It kinda reminded me of sixth grade, when each kid in my class had to choose an Oregon county and do a research paper on it. I chose Douglas County, because I had a thing for that name. And I learned that Douglas County is quite possibly the most boring section of the entire 98,000 square miles of our state. It’s like a desolate part of the outback of Australia, but with trees.) So, hours of research…versus about 10 minutes of research on the towns of Bandon and Myrtle Creek (the western edge of Highway 42), which provided me with at least 6 totally fascinating tourist attractions to visit!

Yay!

101 degrees at 7pm is Not Okay.

I have no idea how I’m going to get to sleep tonight. It was misery trying to sleep last night; I had 2 triple mochas today and was still nodding off at my desk.

A pan of dry ice behind a fan is starting to sound like a really good idea.

I was feeling pretty good when the weekend started, considering that I’d had only 1 migraine in at least a month, and I really, really needed a relaxing couple of days after the very busy workweek (in the course of which I was advised that I get to do more “senior operator” stuff, included helping assign projects, and whatever else I need to learn to become a backup lead operator…more work, oh goody). I was up quite early Saturday because a surprise birthday party was being thrown at 8am for one of our lead operators, a lady I like quite a lot, and I wanted to be there for it. But by noon, I’d come down with a miserable magnitude migraine, and the Imitrex only kicked it down a few notches. That meant forgoing the planned trip to Fabric Depot (outdoor sale!), as well as missing the BBQ thrown by my dear globe-trotting friend Larry. Massive suckage.

And now for something completely TMI…

Work today sucked, and not in the happy fun way. I had a few horrible coughing fits, and the worst one prompted a couple of people (including my lead) to ask if I was going to be okay, if I needed a break off the phones, etc. I told them the truth — that this is what happens when I don’t take my codeine cough syrup on time, and I would be okay as soon as it kicked in. Relatively speaking, anyway.

There’s good news and bad news this weekend…

Good news: I have a 3-day weekend!
Bad news: I’m too sick to enjoy it.

Good news: The demonspawn will be away at the beach all weekend.
Bad news: The demonspawn (and Dustin) will be sleeping here tonight so they can leave at dawn.

Good news: Tomorrow is our country’s 232nd birthday!
Bad news: For some reason, oodles of idiots will celebrate this by blowing shit up.

I really hate fireworks. Always have. I’d love it if all fireworks were illegal, other than the professional displays. And even those are obnoxious, but at least they only take place briefly, and end at a reasonable hour of the evening…unlike the idiots who buy fireworks to set off for days/nights on end. I have ZERO sympathy for anyone who is injured by fireworks, especially the ones that are illegal in Oregon but are brought across the state border from Washington and blown up here.

Go celebrate our Independence Day by lighting fire to a barbeque or the candles of a birthday cake for America, not explosives.