It’s been a largely atrocious year, with just a few exceptions — delightful evenings spent with my loves, afternoons spent learning new skills (gardening, spinning, new crochet techniques, etc), moments of laughter with my family & friends, and pride in my daughters. I’m going to avoid dwelling on the bad things, except to say that I lost both my dear grandmothers in 2011 (in March and August), and came far closer than I like to think to losing my older daughter (who was hospitalized with several pulmonary embolisms in July).

2012 will bring a lot of interesting new things. Lyse just started an RN program a few weeks ago and is starting to get into the swing of it while she works the occasional shift as an LPN through a temp agency. Geoffrey has recently been attached to a new reservist group and is learning a lot, and may be deployed before the year is out (although we haven’t heard anything concrete). My youngest has been working as a full-time nanny (living there 5 days a week) for Robert & Claire for several months but that may change in the near future if Claire’s work situation changes. My oldest is moving in with an old friend this weekend, and hopefully that will be a stable situation. I got a spinning wheel for Yule, and now I’m re-learning spinning (since it’s pretty different than a drop spindle!), and doing just the SSDD at work every night.

And way, way too much housework & cooking & laundry & pet maintenance & grocery shopping & running errands & everything else that doesn’t seem to get done unless I do it.

13 ways I am not a stereotypical girly-girl:

1. I have a cast-iron stomach; the view or even the smell of the most nasty, disgusting, gross stuff doesn’t put me off my feed one bit. (I’ll refrain from details for the sake of the easily-queasy
2. Neither does death squick me; in fact, it fascinates me — in the same way that birth fascinates me, as part of the process of life. (The tagline on my blog does say “I like music, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.”)
3. I not only don’t mind snakes & other reptiles, I really love them. (As long as they’re not venomous!) I’m a cat person through and through, but I also have a lizard and 3 snakes in my menagerie.
4. I don’t like getting flowers. I’ve always said, “So you’re giving me something I can’t eat or read, which will die in a week, to express your enduring affection? Really?”
5. I’m rather handy. I know the difference between pliers, a ratchet, and hex wrenches, and how to use all of them. I really enjoy building things and doing basic household repairs. The thought of owning power tools makes me squee.
6. I dislike lingerie intensely and think it looks ridiculous. I believe a tank top & panties is sexier than anything at Victoria’s Secret, and nudity is more honest (I feel more naked without my glasses than without my clothes, anyway).
7. Although I’d prefer to be slimmer, I’m not overly wrapped up in how I look, and I don’t have any complexes about it. My body isn’t who I am, it’s just where I live.
8. I think diamonds in jewelry are a stupid waste of money.
9. I’d rather eat steak than chocolate.
10. I prefer driving vehicles with manual transmission.
11. I do not see the point of designer clothes/shoes/purses.
12. I prefer movies with blood, gore, and explosions; I’d rather watch Die Hard or Resident Evil than anything with Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan in it.
13. I like military science fiction, and sword-and-sorcery action fantasy.

13 ways I am a stereotypical girly-girl:

1. I am totally creeped out by insects, spiders, and slugs. I won’t touch them, even the ones that can’t/won’t sting or bite. I don’t shriek like a pansy when confronted with them, but they really do bother me.
2. I love wearing lip gloss. (But only Bert’s Bees Lip Shimmer, because it smells like peppermint and feels heavenly.)
3. It tickles me pink when men are gallant toward me — opening doors, pulling out my chair at the table, offering an arm when we’re walking together or a coat when it’s cold & I’ve forgotten mine.
4. I love wearing matching bras & panties, even if nobody else knows about it. Especially if they’re really pretty (but not lacy or frilly — that makes them lingerie, and therefore stupid).
5. I love jewelry, especially really fancy stuff like tiaras and dangly earrings (but only silver because I don’t like the look or cost of gold).
6. I love wearing dresses and skirts, although I like the comfort of jeans (and probably look a lot sexier in them).
7. Cute baby animals make me temporarily lose at least 50 IQ points, especially if I get to touch & cuddle them!
8. I can spend hours browsing in fabric/yarn stores, and discussing the merits of various fabrics & fibers.
9. I love being called pet names by my loved ones, and it delights me to no end that so many people call me by so many different endearments.
10. I do not comprehend the appeal of team sports. (This may explain my girly-girl attraction to ice skating & gymnastics.)
11. To me, a vehicle is just a machine that takes me places.
12. I don’t really “get” gaming (LARP, tabletop, PC games, or MMOG — it’s all just “meh” to me).
13. I think men-who-smell-good is the best scent in the universe.

Yes, it’s November and I’m already excited about next year’s garden! I discovered wintersowing, and I’m perusing seed catalogs to start my sowing in just over 4 weeks at Winter Solstice.

Supporting local businesses is not only trendy these days, but smart. I’m a big fan of unusual plants (soapwort, anyone?), so I tend not to buy from just one or two vendors. Here’s a list of seed companies that I’ve done business with at least once from all over the country, as well as seed companies in the Pacific NW that I plan on ordering from to check them out.

(Want to try growing some interesting herbs & vegies without investing a fortune in seeds? Join Folia, a wonderful online gardening network, and I’ll be happy to set up some seed swaps with you! I’m JeanneS on Folia.)

Companies I’ve Ordered From:
Victory Seeds — Great resource for finding rare & unusual heirlooms, excellent customer service, very good prices. They also sell old-fashioned candies and other nifty items, and have lots of info on their site. Based in Molalla, OR.

High Mowing Organic Seeds — Gorgeous & informative catalog, rather high prices but wide variety with some unusual stuff, good customer service. Based in Wolcott, VT.

Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds — Lots of varieties available including exotics you won’t find anywhere else, great prices, good customer service. Based in Mansfield, MO with branches in Petaluma, CA and Wethersfield, CT.

D. Landreth Seed Company — Great prices, good variety, very good customer service. Based in New Freedom, PA.

Seeds of Change — Rather high prices, but for a good cause (they do a lot of charity programs & seed donations). Fanciest packaging I’ve ever seen from a seed company, very good customer service, extensive gardening info on their website. Based in Rancho Dominguez, CA.

Companies I Plan On Ordering From:
Territorial Seed Company — Utterly gorgeous catalog with tons of information, good prices. Based in Cottage Grove, OR.

Nichols Garden Nursery — Prices a bit high, nice variety. Based in Albany, OR.

Ed Hume Seeds — Good prices, easy to find since they’re sold in retail locations all over the Pacific Northwest as well as online. Based in Puyallup, WA.

Whatcom Seeds — Higher prices, but immense variety and tons of exotic & hard-to-find seeds. Based in Eugene, OR.

Abundant Life Seeds — Prices look high at first, but higher quantity in most packs than other retailers, nice variety. Based in Cottage Grove, OR.

Wild Garden Seed — Prices on the high side, but interesting variety. Most are Oregon Tilth Certified Organic Seed. Based in Philomath, OR.

Horizon Herbs — Prices a bit high, but probably the most variety I’ve seen on any website (includes culinary & medicinal herbs, herbal extracts, vegetables, grains, trees, and plants). Based in Williams, OR.

It’s November already?! This year has been pretty craptastic, aside from a few memorable exceptions (you know who you are), and I won’t be unhappy to see it go. Assuming the course of the giant freaking asteroid passing us next Tuesday has been calculated correctly and it doesn’t smash into the planet, I expect 2012 will outshine this year in hopefully every way.

I lost both my grandmothers this year, my dad’s mom in March and my mom’s mom in August. Our finances are still wobbly, due to expensive vehicle repairs and Geoffrey having to change jobs (plus not getting paid for nearly 3 months of reserve drill), but we’ve tightened our belts and should be more monetarily stable within a few months. I’ve been to the doctor more this year than usual, and that didn’t help finances either, between the increased co-pays and a very expensive EKG. It’s almost a good thing that tendinitis in my elbow has cut down my crocheting to less than 2 hours a day anymore, because I can’t afford that much yarn!

And now for something completely TMI…

I’ve been on the Dukan diet for almost 6 weeks now, and have lost 12 pounds. My rings are getting loose, and my bra isn’t as snug (why do we lose boob weight first?!). For a while there, I was starting to develop a double chin, and that’s almost completely gone now. My tummy, while still curvier than I like, isn’t as curvy as it was.

But what I want to know is, when do I get to wear my skinny jeans?! It really sucks that losing weight takes so long. *sigh*

I worked in the garden on Sunday, mulching my newly-planted garlic cloves, moving my compost bin (which had, to my surprise, over 60 gallons of partly-finished compost in it), and getting my raised beds seeded with vetch — a cover crop that is nitrogen-fixing, and will act as a compost when it’s turned under in the spring. That is, if it ever sprouts! The forecasted rain never materialized, and now I’m wondering if a cover crop will get a chance to grow before we get too cold. I also sent off an application for a community garden plot, in the hopes that next year I can actually produce most of the fresh vegies & herbs that my family consumes.

It’s been a bad week for migraines, 3 days of them in less than a week. I’ve been doing my best to avoid triggers, but sometimes they happen regardless. I’ve got to do some more research on herbal supplements.

A whole WEEK went by that I didn’t lose any weight at all, and I was pretty cranky. Okay, admittedly I cheated a smidgen, because I received a cheesecake from my friend Matthew (he surprised me with it as a thank-you for giving him a drop spindle), and it was impossible not to nibble on it… and there may have been some Starbucks visits… but otherwise I was really, really good! I didn’t lose any weight, but I didn’t gain any. The number just stayed the same for 7 or 8 days straight. Very annoying.

Today, however, I stepped on the scale and FINALLY there was a lower number! Then I realized… oh, hormones. Stupid water retention due to that aggravation that comes with being female. So, as of today, I’ve officially lost 9 pounds since starting the Dukan diet, yay! And thankfully we’re not sick of chicken yet, since we’re still eating a lot of it. (I think it’s utterly impossible for me to ever get sick of steak. Mmmm, om-nom cow flesh!)

And bonus: Fred, my friend Molly’s husband, said if I drop 50 pounds, he will make me a black-and-purple leather corset! Woo hoo!

It’s day 6 of the Dukan diet, and I’m still sitting at 3 pounds lost. *sigh* But since I’ve been pushing fluids like crazy, I think it’s safe to say it’s not water weight.

I don’t know if it’s related to the diet or not, but my ability to sleep has been messed up so gawd-awfully that I was a total zombie at work the last couple nights. Today was the fourth day in a row that I haven’t been able to sleep more than 3 hours without waking up, and have gotten less than 5 cumulative hours of sleep each day. I haven’t been able to pin down any particular reasons that I can’t stay asleep, or get back to sleep after waking. It’s utterly miserable.

I called out sick from work tonight because I’m so fraking exhausted that I can barely walk a straight line (the theory that sleep deprivation impairs you as badly as alcohol is probably quite true, from my experience… but being boozed up is fun, and being sleep deprived is not). I made some moderately stupid errors at work the last couple of nights (nothing disastrous, but still they shouldn’t have happened) and I’m also very concerned about my ability to drive home safely in the morning — “concerned” as in, I think it would be seriously dangerous. I’m extremely eager to avoid being splattered all over I-26, or splattering anyone else, because I dozed off at the wheel.

I’ve resisted sleeping pills — today I did take an herbal “sleep aid” which sadly didn’t help in the least, although I’ve had good results with it in the past — but I’m just about ready to try some Unisom. It’s taking me about 6 times longer than usual to type because I keep misspelling things. Me making spelling errors = horrifying.

At least I’m not having migraines. I’m just trying to count the small blessings here. And on Saturday I get to eat vegetables. I have never looked forward to vegies so much in my life. It’s mind-boggling.

Lyse, Anxiety, and I are on our fourth day on the Dukan diet, and we’re pretty sick of nonfat yogurt. It’s fast & easy, so we’ve been eating a lot of it. I’ve been trying to keep enough variety in our diet (chicken breasts, tilapia, steak, pork sirloin, shrimp, lowfat lunchmeat, etc) so that we aren’t completely sick of any one thing… but eating yogurt 2-3 times a day gets old real fast. Especially for someone like me, who isn’t the biggest fan of yogurt in the first place.

I have a confession… I cheated.

And now for something completely TMI…

Day 3 on the Dukan diet, and I’ve lost 3 pounds. Yay!!!

There has been one little complication, and it’s an annoying one: muscle cramps. The Dukan FAQ advised that this is from dehydration & possible electrolyte imbalance, so I’m really trying to push the fluids, but it’s frustrating. It takes time to get used to a new habit, and consuming 3 liters of fluids a day is about 3 times more than I habitually drink.

Going to sleep yesterday, I had some mild hip & thigh cramps but was close enough to actual sleeping that I didn’t think about it — but at work last night, it was bad enough that I flirted with the idea of going home. Lots of water and some salt, plus a couple of ibuprofen, and the cramps eased and then stopped.

Hip and lower back cramps woke me up early tonight, though, so I’m once again stuffing myself full of liquids. Hopefully I can make a good dinner, ease off these cramps, and get a bit more sleep before I have to go to work tonight.

But hey, 3 pounds! And it can’t all be water weight!

Having gotten rather heavier than I ever imagined was possible for me (since I was spoiled by my high metabolism for the first 30-some years of my life), I always resisted “diets” because they don’t let you eat. I am NOT okay with being hungry. EVER.

But when my weight hit the same poundage that it was when I was 9 months pregnant, I cringed. When it hit the 200-pound mark, I cried. When it hit 220, I nearly fainted. (I’m a bit below that now.) My doctor has been pushing me to lose weight, my feet hurt ALL the time (I have early-stage plantar fasciitis), I can’t walk for very long and I can’t run at all (shin splints), and I have been extremely resentful of my body for a couple of years now. I knew I needed to do something — but I can’t deal with HUNGER!

Then I heard about the Dukan diet. You don’t have to count calories. You don’t have to count carbs. You don’t have to count “points” or portion sizes or any of that nonsense. You don’t have to be hungry, ever. You can eat as much as you want!!!

And now for something completely TMI…