Wanted: gore-loving girl
Are you a single (or polyamorous), slender, artistic (or at least fakes it well), outdoorsy-type brunette or redheaded female between the ages of 25 – 40 in the Portland metro area, who loves atrociously-bad horror flicks and would be interested in watching them with a long-haired, tattooed, polyamorous, Pagan pr0n-shop clerk? (Bonus points if you love Werewolf: The Apocalypse. Serious bonus points if you love animals. Major bonus points if you love Alice Cooper.)
If so, please, please, PLEASE contact me. I have such a great deal for you — I’ll even throw in the popcorn!
(Hell, I’ll throw in the popcorn, candy, soda pop, and a home-cooked breakfast in the morning! Please, help meeeeee!)
Geoffrey’s current Netflix queue includes such winning films as I Spit On Your Grave, Hostel, The Last House on the Left (which is apparently being remade for a 2008 release), Corpse Bride, The Visitation, and Venom.
I don’t mind the occasional horror flick…but I don’t want to see every bad slasher, creature, supernatural, and/or psychopathic B-movie ever made!
I want to see Hostel and Corpse Bride
I can volunteer for those two movies *grin*
Oh wait, but I am not slender nor particularly artistic
Alas!!
Ooer. I think even glancing at your TV is definitely something that I would avoid — I am a big wuss when it comes to horror movies. I mean, I’m always interested and would love to actually see some of them, but I know that I will keep the images with me and bring them out later to torture myself. Especially when I’m alone. Especially when I have to go to the bathroom in the night.
I think my horror at horror movies stems from being exposed to them too soon. I was four years old when my aunt and uncle (who was babysitting me for a while) thought it would be funny to tell me that they were going to watch ‘a comedy’ and that I should watch it with them. Of course the comedy turned out to be this horrible ghost/spirit/murderer/slasher flick that had me in tears and pure terror. They dropped me off at home, chuckling all the way, and I spent the next two weeks sleeping in my parents’ room every single night.
I don’t think I’ve forgiven them for that yet.
Well, I do watch horror movies from time to time — although I tend to look outside the screen when I just know something is coming up, which kind of negates watching a movie in the first place.
Funnily enough, I never thought the Aliens movies were scary. I don’t know why. They never freaked me out. I do, however, have a problem with all those psychological horror movies (Event Horizon, Gothika, Thirteen Ghosts, etc.). I hate the whole now-you-don’t-see-me-but-BOOOOOO-now-you-do scenes.
Mari, you definitely need to watch those movies with Geoffrey! I think you’d both have lots of fun!
Mallika, that was a terrible thing your relatives did! I wouldn’t forgive them either. I actually like the psychological thrillers more than the slasher/creature flicks (loved Event Horizon!), and I have the whole Aliens quadrilogy on DVD plus Alien vs Predator (even though that one’s really just a creature flick).
I think the reason most horror flicks these days don’t impress me is that few (or none!) of the characters are worth rooting for. I didn’t like Saw & Saw 2 for just that reason, but they could have been terrific stories if they’d had better characters.
LOL,
You should put that add up in the willamette weekly…. hee hee.