8> “And what is so wrong with wanting a display cabinet for my souvenir med school cadavers?”

7> Varnish fumes really aren’t an aphrodisiac.

6> “Bambi and Thumper” is a perfectly valid baby’s room theme. Mounted specimens, not so much.

5> You suggest the walls should have a retro mustard and avocado paint job. He figures that after a few more football parties, he won’t have to paint to achieve that look.

4> The person who bought the ornamental garden-gnome-sized Trans Am on its own cute little cinder blocks is going to sleep six feet under it.

3> The dreaded “velvet Elvis” vs. “dogs playing poker” tapestry debate.

2> It all started to head south when you “accidentally” wallpapered her mouth shut.

1> It’s always hard to choose between installing nice carpets and keeping the children.