Because I am a scifi geek, I tend to like to date them. However, the sad truth is that many of them really, really need these tips…

10> It doesn’t matter that she’s your Water Brother, if your wife catches you humping your secretary, the marriage is over.

9> If the person you’re chatting up says she put a condom on her computer to keep it from getting a virus, just smile, nod and keep your mouth shut.

8> No matter how much Heinlein has taught you otherwise, sex just doesn’t work out that way. (Well, it does for some of us, but not for you, Ewok boy!)

7> Whatever other attractions it may have, Klingon is not a romantic tongue. Maybe try Elvish.

6> The Jedi Mind Trick seems to work better if you’re A) wealthy, B) driving a Porsche or C) Leonardo DiCaprio.

5> Don’t put off the important choices before someone’s feelings get hurt. Decide immediately: Kirk, Picard or Janeway.

4> Cybernetic girlfriends are only going to break your heart, then go back in time and kill your mother before you were ever born.

3> Lose the Spock ears, stop speaking like Yoda and for chrissakes, get rid of that depressing robot with a brain the size of a planet.

2> Warning: Any attempt at dating will generally require leaving Mom and Dad’s basement for an unspecified period of time.

1> If, after several IM sessions with “Orion Slave Girl 69,” she refuses to turn on her webcam when requested, you may ultimately be sparing yourself a disappointing lunch with some dude named Herb or Eugene.