Maybe this won’t be quite as funny as it was at 3 in the morning (when Lyse and I were giggling on the verge of hysteria over it), but hopefully it’s still good for a few chuckles. Angst spent a couple days at her friend’s house, and that friend owns a pet hedgehog that is allowed to run around the house. We heard all about it, because Angst announced as we all went to the back patio for a smoke, “My butt hurts.”

Cue the uproarious giggling for Lyse & me. Then, after regaining some semblance of control, one of us asked exactly why that was. Angst answered, “I sat on a hedgehog.”

Cue the howls of laughter that wound down to giggling for Lyse & me. Angst continued, “It squeaked!” (and she then provided her imitation of a hedgehog squeaking repeatedly as it’s being sat upon).

Cue the laughing-so-hard-we’re-gasping-for-breath for Lyse & me. Angst then stated, “So John had to get the tweezers and pull about 15 hedgehog quills out of my butt.”

At this point, Lyse and I are absolutely dissolved in the kind of laughter that verges on hysteria. We’re gasping and whooping, and repeating occasional phrases for good measure, such as, “I sat on a hedgehog,” and “It squeaked!” Of course, then Angst had to add (with cheerful chagrin), “Because I sat right on it!”

Oh yeah, there was a great deal more hearty laughter — between desperate gasps for air — and then Angst says, “After he got the quills out, John thought he should put some medicine on it, but all he could find was Bactine — which obviously I didn’t want, because it would hurt. So he chased me around the house with the Bactine and finally tackled me, sat on my back, and doused my butt in it. And I’m lying there, traumatized more about the Bactine than because of the quills. So I had to yell at him, ‘You got Bactine in my butt-crack!’”

Two sentences I’m certain I never thought I’d hear in my life prior to last night: “I sat on a hedgehog,” and “You got Bactine in my butt-crack!”

Just. Not. Okay. (But nonetheless hilarious!)